Geezer Talk (Baby Boomer Blues)

words & music Allan Thomas

Geezer talk that's all we have to say
Are your knees holding up
How's your back today
Once we talked about girls and the state of the world
Now its aches and pains how it waxes and wanes
How's the new drug working on the lesion in your eye
Who's the best orthopedist to review an MRI

Geezer talk it's all we ever say
Isn't there something else besides our imminent decay
The stiffness in your neck sore tendons in your hand
That bunion on your foot that kills when you stand
The swelling in your finger when you press the remote
The sting you get when the kids call you an old goat

Geezer talk talkin' baby boomer blues
We're held together by titanium screws
Don't skip your medication go easy with that cane
Don't want to trip and break your hip or wind up with a sprain
Jim needs a new shoulder after falling from a tree
I need a new memory cause mine ain't what it used to be

Geezers used to do this they used to be that
Now their sitting on their rear drinkin' beer chewin' the fat
You groan when you get out of bed
Body feels like a ton of lead
There's pounding in your head that's just for starters
Docs numbers on speed dial should you get unsteady
Have ibuprofen at hand and an ice bag at the ready

Geezers lose their glasses on a continual basis
Can't read a thing or recognize anyones faces
Some weeks are better than others
Some you'd rather forget
But you wanna be in that number instead of the opposite
His ankles acting up again her tooth is 5-alarm
I'm a hypochondriac what's that throbbing in my arm

Geezer talk non-stop workin' up a sweat
Pray the fountain of youth gets discovered yet
The cortisone kicked in my knee's nice and numb
Just one shot away from a functioning thumb
Skin's thin as paper easily bruised and cut
Lost inches off my height what's happened to my butt

Geezer talk how they squawk the whining never end
Can hardly wait till the day you have to wear depends
Skip the bathroom mirror avoid the shocking sight
Hair that once was black skin no longer tight
You meet the chiropractor hoping for some relief
Then the psychiatrist to alleviate your grief

Geezers take supplements as if they were candy
Got a hot water bottle and first aide kit handy
Sue claims it ain't easy for a geezer to date
Different degrees of decrepitude right out of the gate
Has a defibrillator that's state of the art
In case she has to revive a geezers heart

Geezer talk revolves around a similar story
Quit now if your faint hearted when the going gets gory
David reads X-Rays just like a pro
Friends ask his opinion of the symptoms they show
But the dog stole his dentures and people have to mime
Cause he lost his hearing aide for the umpteenth time

Geezer talk is something only geezers can relate
Need a cure for geezeritis before it's too late
Watch out for infections and things like pneumonia
Be sure to have a friend that'll always phone ya
When your an elder the clock ticks faster
And it seems like there's always an impending disaster
Geezer talk yup it's a cryin' shame
But you can't go back to looking or feeling the same

Ed tried yoga but just couldn't stretch
They showed him the door cause he was acting like a letch
So he took to gambling on bingo nights
And hooked up with a geezerette in leopard-skin tights
Geezers gab for hours you'll soon discover
Love to complain about one thing or the other

Stuffed my vaporizer with medicinal weed
Got a stack of medical journals I just have to read
My only wish is for a peaceful night
Wake up tomorrow resume the fight
A geezer greeting is more than just hello
You ask how's their ticker and cholesterol

Vinny ain't the same since he took Viagra
Thinks every nights like a honeymoon in Niagara
At first it was fun now it's off the scale
His wife tries to run but it's of no avail
Geezer talk will somehow always be a thing
His foots in a cast her arms in a sling
It's time to pay the piper for all that fun
For the wild and risky things that you ever done
Better make the most of what you been given
Right now while there's time to do some livin'

Geezer talk on and on it goes discuss the next surgery's cons and pros You lie awake and wonder what's in store
You get to where you think you can't take no more
All things considered it's been quite a journey
But love to stick around before they heave me on that gurney
Geezer moving slow slow as a tortoise
Tryin' to stay ahead of Mr. Rigor Mortise

©2018 Black Bamboo Music - BMI